An exclusive interview with a PCB executive
Pakistan started the fifth day with a faint hope of winning the first test match but Mitchell Johnson turned it into despair within a span of six deliveries.
As always the fans are asking questions relating to the defeat from PCB authorites.
We managed to get some of the answers by a higher PCB executive through an exclusive interview.
Q1 Australia was considered to be beatable and vulnerable. What happened? Why couldn’t we beat them?
Australia proved they are vulnerable as they failed to give us an innings defeat and just managed to beat us by a meagre margin of 170 runs.
Q2 How did Farhat, Faisal Iqbal and Abdur Rauf managed to get selected?
Forget about Farhat, Faisal and Rauf we are trying to send Younis Khan as a replacement. He is one of the greatest player ever produced by Pakistan and he will make a difference.
Q3 Isn’t this Younis Khan drama a hocus pocus, a distraction?
What hocus pocus? Just focus on Younis Khan.
Q4 Why Younis Khan hasn’t boarded the plane yet?
The Chairman was in Larkana trying to impress the “Big Boss” with the P&L account from CT and the Kiwi series and save his job and hence was not available to give the approval for Younis Khan.
Q5 WTF last time we checked Larkana was still a part of Pakistan and does have Fax, Telephone and Internet services so why the Chairman couldn’t give the approval?
The chairman is a 70 year old fart and does not know how to use modern communication devices.
Q5 But has the Big Boss given approval for Younis Khan’s selection?
Big Boss is not happy with Younis Khan’s non cooperation during Champions trophy and wants Younis to start a new career as a fisherman and send 10% of his catch to Big Boss only then he will consider Younis Khan’s return.
Q6 Will Miandad accept Younis Khan’s inclusion in the team?
No he will not. Miandad is a legend, he gives very high regard to merit and will not tolerate this injustice he has threatened to resign and has warned the PCB management if Younis replaced Faisal Iqbal he will seek justice against such an act of favoritism.
Q7 What about Afridi? He is in Australia and the team needs a genuine all rounder.
The management wants him to make money and be happy. Besides he is our MVP in T20’s we want him to get some valuable T20 experience in the Big bash tournament before the 2010 T20 WC and last but not the least we do not want another captaincy rift in the team. We have kicked out all the other captaincy candidates so that Yousaf can operate smoothly.
Q8 Why did we sent Sami to Australia if we were going to play Rauf?
Rauf is 31 years old officially and unofficialy he is 35 we sent Sami as a precaution just in case if Rauf gets injured before the match.
Q9 What about Umar Gul? Why he was dropped?
He is our main Odi and T20 bowler we wanted to give him rest so that he can enjoy the Aussie beaches or bitches, it’s his choice, and we didn’t wanted the Aussies to get enough match practice against him before the Odi series and T20 series.
Q10 Why are we selecting players with poor batting technique? Our openers can’t play with a straight bat.
There has been a marked improvement in our players Salman Butt averages 28 but didn’t he scored 30 runs in his last innings now thats an improvement. Didn’t Imran Farhat scored a century in NewZealand? Misbah scored a fifty after six innings, look at Faisal Iqbal he is performing much better than Younis Khan and you are still complaining.
Q11 But Sir! Fawad Alam also scored a century in Sri Lanka why he is not in the team?
Farhat is more experienced and more influential, besides Fawad can’t even do the job of 12th man properly he is too young. The management has realized that it’s not safe to leave a cute young boy amongst older men so just for his safety we have decided to bring him back.
Q12 Why are we dropping so many catches? Misbah, Farhat and Umar Akmal have dropped so many catches in last four matches, what has PCB done to improve the fielding.
PCB has realized that Intikhab Alam was too old to demonstrate and coach proper fielding techniques so we have appointed Waqar Younis and you must have noticed that we only dropped three catches in the last match.
Q13 Why Kaneria didn’t played in the first match?
He showed us his 21st finger and believe me it was swollen from an over dose of V tablet.
Q14 Why the selectors screw the team combination in every series through poor selection.
Those old farts can’t even screw their wives, how can they screw the team combination. Their job is to just approve the list of players which is given to them..
More from this category
- Ashamed to be a Pakistani
- Afridi and Ejaz Butt again ignore Younis Khan
- Why Pakistan team bends over so easily
- Kamran Akmal the pretend wicket keeper
More from this author
- Ashamed to be a Pakistani
- Afridi and Ejaz Butt again ignore Younis Khan
- Why Pakistan team bends over so easily
- Kamran Akmal the pretend wicket keeper
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Happy new year folks.
Wasim!
How did you manage to get such honest answers out of a PCB official? Go on, tell us what you offered him
Liked no.9
bet Shoaib’s jealous of Gul….I’m sure he’ll send him a postcard.
Stani
I just took him on my knee and injected a truth serum in him
very sarcastic wasim… happy new year!
Hahahaha! Is that a euphemism?
SP
Sarcastic but true.
Stani
Noooooo.
So then boys what is the team news ahead of the 2nd test?
Qamar, team news:
1)Miandad
2)Miandad’s nephew
3)Miandad’s other nephew
4)Miandad’s son in-law
5)Miandad’s…
You get the picture
LOL yup Pakistan will never be a top team in test matches until this safaarish business stops in Pakistan. we have so many talented cricketers and we play ppl like Faisal Iqbal. doesn’t look like we are going to get much live cricket today
Qamar
The team news is that Pakistani players were called for a surprise medical check up ealrly in the morning and Mohammad Aamer was declared unfit even though the poor kid cried out loud that he is fit but the team management insisted that you have a groin injury.
Aamer asked how come you are so sure about it?
Manager Abdul Raqeeb said when you took your pants off you were stiff.
Aamer said well I am only 17 and its just a morning thing.
Mohammad Yousaf and Intikhab Alam jumped in and said you have groin injury kid, we are sure because the length of the spells we made you bowl in the first test this was bound to happen and there is no way you can remain fit. So stop arguing.
What kind of a blind mother fucker would have preferred Abdul Rauf over Sami and Gul. An inquiry should be called and all those who were responsible for that decision should be removed from any position of power.
don’t get me wrong wasim but is it that the alleged fight between gul and aamer were actually right hence they are not playing them together…?
Sp
It’s unlikely because last time when they played together their body language was friendly with each other.
Gul was seen giving tips to Aammer, I think Gul is a bit low on confidence these days and didn’t looked 100% fit, he needs to be just himself but at the moment he is probably too worried about his place in the team.
Hahaha! Good stuff Wasim! What Lussi have you been drinking? Tell me, I want some!
To be honest, I didnt mind Aamer being excluded considering his work load in what turned out to be a fruitless cause. Who thinks Waqar had anything to do with Rauf’s inclusion? Bowling coach right? He must have had some input. I’m sure though, even he was surprised at how average Rauf was.
Qamar,
That stuff is woven in the fabric of our society. Until that changes, it will go on in our cricket. Faisal can always drop himself if he truly loves his country
We are going to win a test at last:)
Stani
Are you also craving for the morning stiffness:))
I can’t believe Waqar could have voted in favor of Rauf unless he bowled exceptionally well in the nets.
Qamar
It will all depend on how much lead Pakistan will get.
A lead of 150 will be enough. We will win this test match inside 4 days but I don’t think we can win by an innings.
Qamar
Pakistan won’t win this match until they get a lead of 200. Inside 4 days I hope so, but Australia rarely loses on this ground even if they mess up in the first innings.
So far the lead is 63 runs with 8 wickets in hand, Faisal Iqbal struggled initially but now he is opening up and playing confidently, Yousaf is his usual self if he can score a big innings here Pakistan will win this match for sure. The pitch will definitely help Kaneria in second innings.
Other than a few good deliveries here and there Australian bowlers have failed to match the performance of Sami and Asif. They couldn’t extract the movement with the ball pitched up. The openers played well. Faisal Iqbal just threw away his wicket he was lucky he survived so far, Pakistan will have to show a lot of determination to survive this afternoon.
DO you guys approve of the Gung ho approach of Akmal brothers?
Umar Akmal just came on to the wicket and has struck 4 boundaries in the first over he faced. I would like the lead to be atleast 150 and then these guys should open up.
Mohammad Yousaf just got out to a stupid shot. The change of tempo with the arrival of Umar Akmal un nerved Mohammad Yousaf it is the third time I have noticed that Yousaf forgets to concentrate on his own batting when Umar Akmal arrives on the wicket.
Misbah is at the crease now and he has a huge job to hold one end and extend the lead.