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Pakistan started the fifth day with a faint hope of winning the first test match but Mitchell Johnson turned it into despair within a span of six deliveries.

As always the fans are asking questions relating to the defeat from  PCB authorites.

We managed to get some of the answers by a higher PCB executive through an exclusive interview.

Q1 Australia was considered to be beatable and vulnerable. What happened? Why couldn’t we beat them?

Australia proved they are vulnerable as they failed to give us an innings defeat and just managed to beat us by a meagre margin of 170 runs.

Q2 How did Farhat, Faisal Iqbal and Abdur Rauf managed to get selected?

Forget about Farhat, Faisal and Rauf we are trying to send Younis Khan as a replacement. He is one of the greatest player ever produced by Pakistan and he will make a difference.

Q3 Isn’t this Younis Khan drama a hocus pocus, a distraction?

What hocus pocus? Just focus on Younis Khan.

Q4 Why Younis Khan hasn’t boarded the plane yet?  

 The Chairman was in Larkana trying to impress the “Big Boss” with the P&L account from CT and the Kiwi series and save his job and hence was not available to give the approval for Younis Khan.

Q5 WTF last time we checked Larkana was still a part of Pakistan and does have Fax, Telephone and Internet services so why the Chairman couldn’t give the approval? 

The chairman is a 70 year old fart and does not know how to use modern communication devices.

Q5 But has the Big Boss given approval for Younis Khan’s selection? 

Big Boss is not happy with Younis Khan’s non cooperation during Champions trophy and  wants Younis to start a new career as a fisherman and send 10% of his catch to Big Boss only then he will consider Younis Khan’s return.

Q6 Will Miandad accept Younis Khan’s inclusion in the team? 

No he will not. Miandad is a legend, he gives very high regard to merit and will not tolerate this injustice he has threatened to resign and has  warned the PCB management if Younis replaced Faisal Iqbal he will seek justice against such an act of favoritism.

Q7 What about Afridi? He is in Australia and the team needs a genuine all rounder.

The management wants him to make money and be happy. Besides he is our MVP in T20′s we want him to get some valuable T20 experience in the Big bash tournament before the 2010 T20 WC and last but not the least we do not want another captaincy rift in the team. We have kicked out all the other captaincy candidates so that Yousaf can operate smoothly.

Q8 Why did we sent Sami to Australia if we were going to play Rauf?

Rauf is 31 years old officially and unofficialy he is 35 we sent Sami as a precaution just in case if Rauf gets injured before the match.

Q9 What about Umar Gul? Why he was dropped?

He is our main Odi and T20 bowler we wanted to give him  rest so that he can enjoy the Aussie beaches or bitches, it’s his choice, and we didn’t wanted the Aussies to get enough match practice against him before the Odi series and T20 series.

Q10  Why are we selecting players with poor batting technique? Our openers can’t play with a straight bat.

There has been a marked improvement in our players Salman Butt averages 28 but didn’t he scored 30 runs in his last innings now thats an improvement. Didn’t Imran Farhat scored a century in NewZealand? Misbah scored a fifty after six innings, look at Faisal Iqbal he is performing much better than Younis Khan and you are still complaining.

Q11 But Sir! Fawad Alam also scored a century in Sri Lanka why he is not in the team?

Farhat is more experienced and more influential, besides Fawad can’t even do the job of 12th man properly he is too young. The management has realized that it’s not safe to leave a cute young boy amongst older men so just for his safety we have decided to bring him back.

Q12 Why are we dropping so many catches? Misbah, Farhat and Umar Akmal have dropped so many catches in last four matches, what has PCB done to improve the fielding.

PCB has realized that Intikhab Alam was too old to demonstrate and coach proper fielding techniques so we have appointed Waqar Younis and you must have noticed that we only dropped three catches in the last match.

Q13 Why Kaneria didn’t played in the first match?

He showed us his 21st finger and believe me it was swollen from an over dose of V tablet.

Q14 Why the selectors screw the team combination in every series through poor selection.

Those old farts can’t even screw their wives, how can they screw the team combination. Their job is to just approve the list of players which is given to them..